no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
