the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
