FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
