Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
