dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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