$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
