ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
