We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
