I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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