I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
