I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
