Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
