I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
