Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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