Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
