I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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