she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
