tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
