But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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