I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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