What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
