Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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