I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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