Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
