we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
