Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
