it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
