They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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