you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
