i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
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