There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
