My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
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