dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
