Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
