3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
