We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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