oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
