sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
