u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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