Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Randomize
