So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
