Quick, to the slutcave!
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
