I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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