My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
and she was petting her beer can
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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