I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
