CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
