love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
