it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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