at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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