Plan B is the new Plan A
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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