When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
