I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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