we're chasing vodka with high fives
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
