He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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